How To Actually Build Confidence

 How To Actually Build Confidence

Story Time

When I was a little boy I was the shyest and most timid guy you were ever gonna see. I was always with my head down to not bother anyone, only speak if I was spoken to, always obey the rules, never disagree and more of the like. 

I didn't have any confidence, I didn't think that I had anything to offer, I had no backbone, and that made me feel really bad about myself cause I was accepting things I didn't want to.

Then as I got older I became more aware of this, I already knew my confidence was not there but now I was gonna do something about it, I started to think if anything had happened to induce this low confidence so started to ask myself 'Where does this low confidence come from? Did something happen?' And then I remembered a story, I jumped up from my chair excited in the ahaa moment and I was like ''Yeahh, back in 1st grade when I was 5 years old we had a drawing exercise and I decided to do something outside the box instead of drawing in the lines cause it was a way for me to express my creativity, then the teacher was collecting it and as soon as she saw it she told me 'What is this?! It's so ugly!! Draw a new one!!' And she gave me a new piece of paper to draw it in again, I did not draw it in, Instead I just went back to my desk and cried. I felt horrible cause I felt good about it, I was happy cause everyone's looked the same but I was being different. This episode was kind of like a signal to my brain expressing messages like 'Don't take risks it might not pay off, be normal, they don't like people who are different and you can't express your creativity'. So it took some time to unlearn all of those things, luckily things have changed since then and I feel much better now, but that teacher left a mark on that little boy''.

Where does lack of confidence come from?

So what am I trying to say? Identify where your limiting beliefs are coming from. Why are you not confident on something? Did something happen in the past to make you feel that way? We don't believe something without any proof, you believe that you're a certain way cause something happened or you did something to tell your mind that you're this way.

With competence somes confidence

I also asked myself about people who i perceived as confident, 'What do confident people do? How do they behave? That guy I know who's confident what makes him like that?' And i came to the conclusion that there are multiple traits but the #1 thing for confidence is competence, being good at something. That guy is confident around people cause he's charismatic, he has good social skills, and you get good at doing something by practising, making mistakes, identifying what you did wrong and not doing it again next time.

Build undeniable proof that you are what you want to be, if you want to believe that you are disciplined then you must do things which require discipline; work hard, do things on time, deny yourself things which you know are no good for you. Don't wait to act until you have proof, act as if it is already there. Create the proof, proof that you are whatever you desire yourself to be.

How To Face Your Fears

Most people are scared to do a lot of things but in a full circle moment the only way to tackle your fears is to face them head on. You can only overcome fears by deliberate exposure to them. So become fearless and constantly throw yourself into situations which scare you.

Summary : 

• Identify where lack of confidence comes from, ask yourself and remember past memories which may have left an impact on you
• With competence comes confidence, you get confidence by doing something you're good at
• Face your fears by consciously forcing yourself to meet them.